Belle, as I was trying a new diaper/training pants thingie on her:

“I like this diaper. It’s soft like marshmallows.”

As an aside, has anyone ever sewn pocket diapers with microfleece? How in the world is that supposed to work? The fleece is sooo stretchy, even though I cut it the same size as the PUL layer, as I sew them together the fleece stretches so much, by the time I get to the other side I have about three extra inches of it! What am I supposed to do, just cut that part off? Well, anyway, that’s what I did, fearing it might turn out wonky but it seemed to be okay.

But if that’s the way it works, what’s the point of even cutting the fleece layer to match? I think I need to borrow a serger and just cut a chunk of fleece and guide it around the PUL layer, letting the serger do the cutting work.

And? Yes, I’m making diapers again. After what I sewed for Belle, I didn’t think I’d ever have to do this again, but here’s the deal: All-in-Ones are soo not cost effective! Well, compared to paper, of course, but as far as cloth goes, man, all that work and fabric and the top inner layer is already shredding and much of the elastic is shot. I attribute it to having to be washed so many extra times, which wouldn’t happen with pocket dipes and prefolds since they get cleaner easier, and at least you can take the pocket part (with the PUL and fleece and elastic) out and just do an extra wash on the prefolds if they get really stinky.

And oh yeah, Belle was potty training herself, right? Well, I told you I wasn’t counting on it, and even though she did go for a week strong, she either lost interest or got nervous about it or something, but she just started going in her pants again and was fine with using diapers, so we’re back to that for awhile longer. Which I’m totally fine with.

But the diapers I’m making are really great because they’ll have elastic all the way around the top, and snaps instead of velcro, so she can pull them on and off like panties when she’s ready! They’re actually exactly what I was looking for when I went online a few years ago in search of some washable, waterproof, extra thick panties for Beauty when she was learning. (Instead I found the whole marvelous world of cloth diapers. ‘Nother story.)

These I can stuff with as much absorbency as I need (a lot for nighttime, a little for potty training) and I know fleece isn’t generally recommended for potty training, since it wicks the moisture away from their body so they can’t feel when they’re wet, but I can just lay a piece of cotton fabric on top of the fleece (or just stick the whole soaker pad on top) when I want her to know she’s wet. For now, it will be nice for her to have a dry bum all night.

Now, the only thing I need is to find someone around here who has a snap press so I can pay them to put my snaps on for me. If all else fails, there’s a list of people who are willing to do it, but I’m trying to avoid the cost of shipping a bunch of diapers back and forth. I guess it really wouldn’t be that much — they’re just two layers of fabric each … Okay, thinking out loud = time to go to bed. ;)

Beauty’s room is also a thoroughfare, with doors on three sides, one leading to the kitchen, one to the living room, and a pair of french doors leading to the room we use for the master, even though I think it’s supposed to be sort of a sunroom.

Her room is probably supposed to be the dining room, but we don’t even have a table so it is never used for that purpose. But it does get walked through quite a bit and one day I realize I had become an obsessive cleaner. I was spending entirely too much time picking things up and putting them back in order — whenever I walked through a room I would feel compelled to put toys away and even straighten the darn couch pillows. Hello, who is this neat freak suddenly inhabiting my body?

One day I decided to have one room I wouldn’t do that to; a room, I persuaded myself, that wasn’t really mine to “mess” with anyway. I told Beauty I wouldn’t “bother” her things anymore; I would let her keep her space just the way she liked it.

The above photograph is the result after only two days. One of which did include a frenzied 5-year-old search for a missing swimsuit, hence all the pulled out drawers. Nonetheless, I abandoned this leave-it-alone endeavor very quickly. Well actually, she asked for help cleaning it up, and so we did it.

She says she loves it much better this way. And of course it is all her creation, the pictures on the wall, where everything goes — not that there is much of anything, but you know.

Now I try only to make a quick run through cleaning once at the end of the day, and though I haven’t done this yet because it really hasn’t been a problem so far, I’m reserving the ability to say “no bringing toys/dolls etc. out of the bedroom today” if ever I’m not feeling up to the clutter and/or the cleanup.

But for the time-being anyway, I’m backing off on asking them to help clean. I never used to make a big deal over it and I almost always got help anyway, but lately I’ve somehow managed to reverse this: I ask far too much and make a small fuss over “all this work I have to do” — and I end up getting less help. At least, less WILLING help, which is the only kind I REALLY want anyway, right? I mean, the goal is to help them WANT to clean, to learn to want to help, to have a desire to be a part of a functioning household, to love taking care of their space, right? It’s certainly not, “let’s make this faster” because, come on! All the energy required to get them to do stuff they’re not wanting to do at the moment? Sooo not the efficient way to get things done! And my real goals just weren’t progressing at all with all my talking and badgering and trying-to-make-it-fun-but-still-necessary sort of things.

Now I just start picking up at the end of the day, before our bedtime routine, without saying anything about it, and they usually follow me around, either helping, or else just talking and laughing and enjoying being kids.

And really, I don’t have a lot to complain about. The toys/clutter are pretty minimal. We donated the majority of our toys a few months ago and now we only have one basket for all the dolls and miscellaneous playthings, plus a kitchen (with cupboards, so all the pots and aprons and little circle thingies they pretend are food can be quickly thrown in and hidden), and of course tons of books, puzzles, blocks, and crafty things, but these all have places on shelves and in cupboards and supposedly only come out as the other ones go back in. Maybe it doesn’t work exactly that way but they do generally help out with putting those things away.

At the time we went through all the toys for donating, we also designated one of the many tubs seen here as the “Toy Rotation Box.” The majority of the toys we kept are in there and supposedly we go through it once a month and switch things out. But it’s been since the end of June and they haven’t asked about the box or any of the toys therein once!

Anyway, look at me, see? If you ever wonder why I go through periods of pretty much ceasing to exist on the Internet, this is why. As soon as I start just trying to post a few pictures, my descriptions on Flickr end up way too long so I decide to make them into a blog post and somehow in the midst of waiting for things to load I end up visiting other blogs and finding new ones and already it’s 12:30 in the morning and I’m back out of my early-to-bed routine — which never lasts more than two days anyway — writing incoherent run-on sentences and contemplating staying up the rest of the night to “catch up” on all our pictures and stories and news.

Well, I have no idea how to get little Belle off to sleep during the day now that she’s not nursing, but no worries because Beauty does!

I would just lie with her like I do at night, but it doesn’t seem to work for naps — unless I want to be there for an hour, and I don’t, although I did finally purchase an inexpensive mp3 player explicitly for that purpose (so I can feel like I’m “getting something done” — listening to audiobooks — while putting her to sleep.) I’ve tried just letting her stay up and putting her to bed early, but the poor girl just has such a hard time all day, I feel like a terrible neglectful mother when I do. She doesn’t believe me but she NEEDS that mid-day sleep!

So today while I was cleaning up lunch and contemplating my strategy, Beauty took Belle into their room, and I heard her setting her up in her bed. A few minutes later Beauty came back to report that she was asleep. I didn’t believe it at all. I said, “She’s asleep? She’s pretending to be asleep, right?” No, upon further investigation, my 2-year-old was really, truly sleeping!

How did she do it, you ask? Learn from the expert 5-year-old, everybody:

“I told her to close her eyes and not talk and I would read Mad Cat*. Then I read only the words I know in that book and she fell asleep.”

“But how,” I asked, “How did she fall asleep?”

“I don’t know,” she replied, “I wasn’t watching, I was just watching the book.”

Right. Well, you’ve got yourself a job, girl.

*Actually called Grumpy Cat, a current library book.

And because I am totally fickle and mostly just too lazy to make the privacy changes I really want to make here, and certain people believe they are in dire need of pictures of my kids, well, I’m going to spend the next two hours pretending it’s not the time I should be making dinner (ok, I did throw some potatoes in the oven, I won’t let them starve), and try to get some pictures on Flickr.

Here are a few to start you off. There are still more on my computer and tons on my camera. These are from June. I’m extremely behind, no?

Today Beauty was busy in her own little play world and Belle kept coming up to her to share with her bits of the invisible food she was preparing in her kitchen. Next time Belle asked “What would you like?” the annoyed Beauty angrily replied, “I want NOTHING!” (with a definite leave-me-alone tone.) Belle, not batting an eye at the frustrated tone, sweetly responded, “Oh, she wants nothing.” And then went back to her kitchen, did a little cooking, and brought back another empty handful for Beauty to take, this time saying, “Here, here’s some nothing.”

The totally innocent ways in which younger siblings can drive the older ones crazy! It just reminded me of the time when my little sister and I were about the same ages and I was fed up with how she copied everything I said. The next time my mom asked us what we wanted to drink, I thought I was being so wise when I whispered in her ear my response, “Rootbeer.” Suzanne, however, who I claim is only as brilliant as she is because she had to constantly outwit me, just whispered in my moms ear, “Whatever she said.”

Oh, and yeah, I still know I have a blog, though I kind of try to forget about it because whenever I think of this fact that my entire life from the last couple years exists for all creation to read about, I get a little lightheaded and have to take a nap. I don’t know what I’m going to do with it all, or what I’m going to do in the future. This is something I’ve struggled back and forth with the whole time, but now it is really bothering me for some reason.

Not that I’m planning on being back to blogging any time soon. But here, this is what Belle said to me the other night, while she was totally asleep:

“It’s upstairs on the bathroom counter, k Mom?”

I wonder what she was talking about.